Popular Lies About Love

As someone who has been in love and knows the joy of it, I can say with certainty that love is real. But as a therapist who's seen many relationships fall apart, I know that there are many lies about love that we're told from an early age. These lies aren't malicious—they're just things we've been taught to believe about love that aren't true. I hope you'll read this list with an open mind and consider whether any of these ideas have ever negatively impacted your relationships.

Below are some popular lies about love you need to be aware of;

1. Love conquered all.

We all know what it's like to be in love. We feel like nothing can ever stop us or get in our way, and we are invincible. But let me ask you this: is love enough?

It's a question that we have all asked ourselves, at some point in our lives. And the answer is no—love cannot conquer all! Let me explain why:

Love does not cure every ailment. If your dog has cancer, then you need to get him chemo treatment or radiation therapy; if your partner has dementia (or any other neurological disorder), then they need help from the medical professionals who specialize in dealing with such conditions; if someone has suffered trauma as a result of rape or assault, then professional psychological counselling should be sought immediately—and so on and so forth. Do you see where I'm going with this? Love is not a panacea for everything that might ail us physically or emotionally.

Love doesn't always solve problems between two people either; sometimes it just makes things worse by creating tension between them...and even though some couples may seem happy together now they're still together, they could break up tomorrow because their relationship isn't strong enough anymore...or maybe because one person cheated on another which resulted in lots of bitterness between them afterwards due to trust issues.

2. There's only one true love for each person.

Another lie is that there's only one true love for each person. That's not true! In fact, some people have multiple true loves—and others don't even have one at all.

There are people who are in love with more than one person at a time and can't make up their minds. There are also those who aren't sure if they're in love with someone yet, but they're starting to feel something that might be it; they're trying to figure things out before making any commitments. And then there are those who've been together for decades, but now find themselves attracted to other people (or maybe even just alone). Maybe your relationship has changed over time or maybe something happened recently that put things into perspective for you—whatever the case may be, it doesn't change what you felt about this person once upon a time.

3. You can't help who you fall in love with.

No, but you can help who you go to bed with, and who you have sex with—and, let's be honest, those are often the same person. If a woman says “I love him” but not “He's hot for me” then she could be lying about everything else too. Women know what they want and how to get it; if they say "I love him" but don't want him physically then that means something different than saying "I love him" while having sex with him every day because what they really mean is: "My mother didn't raise any fools."

You can't help who you marry or divorce either (though I suppose if your parents aren't married then technically that would mean no one at all). If someone marries someone else without knowing anything about them it doesn't mean they're fated for each other--it means their families didn't give them any choice! Divorce rates are high because people are getting married too soon or because they've had affairs while married to other people so why would anyone think this wasn't possible?

4. Being in love feels the same for everyone.

You can be in love with someone and still not feel the same way about them as they do about you. Love is a subjective experience, so it's totally possible to be in love with someone but not feel the same way about them as they do about you. Trust is an important part of a healthy relationship—you have to trust your partner if their feelings are going to mirror yours. If you don't trust your partner, then it's not really love!

5. The person you're in love with is perfect for you.

The truth is that not everyone is perfect for each other. Perfection is subjective and there are many ways to be happy in life, so don't feel like you have to settle for someone just because they're the best option out there.

One of my favourite quotes about love comes from Gloria Anzaldúa: "To live with a man (woman) you must believe in him (her). But to live with faith means believing even when you cannot see." We all want our partners to be our everything—and sometimes we expect them to be—but the fact remains that loving someone does not erase their flaws or make them perfect; nor does it mean that your relationship will work out exactly how you imagined it would. That's why it's important not only for your own sake but also for theirs that you try not only to be honest with yourself but also let go of any unrealistic expectations before entering into a serious relationship so both parties can get on with their lives happily ever after despite any hardships along the way!

6. Your partner should make you happy.

This one is common, but it's also a lie. Your partner should not make you happy.

I know, I know: We've been conditioned to believe this lie since time immemorial. The idea that our partners are supposed to make us feel good about ourselves is so entrenched in our culture that it feels like common sense—but it turns out, being with someone who makes you feel good about yourself isn't actually healthy for your relationship.

Here's why: Your partner should make you feel safe and loved, but if their job is making sure that you're happy all the time, then they'll be putting their own needs aside for yours—and there will always be something missing from the relationship because of this imbalance between the two of you. The person who has healthier self-esteem overall will end up feeling resentful over having to take care of someone else all the time and vice versa; neither party ends up being happy because both are sacrificing themselves in order for one another's happiness to flourish."

7. It's normal to be infatuated with your partner at the beginning of a relationship.

It's not normal to be infatuated with your partner at the beginning of a relationship. In fact, it is so common that people have given it a name: "limerence." Limerence is an intense form of infatuation that can occur at the beginning of a relationship when you don't know each other very well and are attracted to each other. This can lead you to think that he or she is perfect for you and gives them a kind of magical quality.

That being said, limerence does not last forever—it typically fades within two years if there aren't strong feelings underneath it. If someone claims they're still in love with their partner after two years but also has limerent feelings towards someone else (or vice versa), then they may be experiencing something else entirely!

8. You'll know when it's over.

If you're not happy anymore, or if you feel like your partner is no longer attractive to you -- if, in other words, something has changed in your relationship and made it no longer work for either one of you -- then yes: You'll know when it's over. But the thing is that sometimes people who are unhappy in their relationships stay unhappy because they've convinced themselves that "this is how love works" or "this is how marriage works." They convince themselves that their unhappiness is normal and necessary and unchangeable. And then they get married anyway. And then they stay married even though being married makes them miserable because being single would mean admitting to themselves that maybe they were wrong about "this" being the way love works or marriage works.

9. If you're meant to be together, your relationship will last forever.

Love is a choice, not a feeling. The idea that you can fall in love with someone overnight is a lie. As the popular saying goes: "Love is not a feeling; it's an action."

The truth is that we make choices every day about what we do for our partners and how we treat them—and these actions determine whether or not we're truly in love with them.

If you make positive choices to work on your relationship and improve it, then you have made the decision to love that person beyond just being attracted to them physically or emotionally when they first caught your eye at the bar last night (or wherever).

10. You can't be in love if you're not jealous of your partner sometimes.

While jealousy is a normal part of loving someone, it's often handled the wrong way. Jealousy is not a bad thing; it just means that you care and want to protect your relationship. But there are different kinds of jealousy, and they're all worth distinguishing from each other.

Envy is when you want something that someone else has—money, looks, power, etc. It's never good to be envious because it makes you covetous and ungrateful for what you have.

Eros is romantic love; eros-driven jealousy tends to come from love being threatened by infidelity or abandonment (e.g., “I’m going crazy without him/her”). But this kind of jealous reaction won't necessarily ruin your relationship forever—it may just make both partners realize how important their bond really is!

While we hope that you'll be able to take away some valuable lessons from this article and apply them to your own life, the most important takeaway is probably this: love is complicated, and so are the lies we tell ourselves about it. But just because something's difficult doesn't mean it can't be worth trying—and if you're lucky enough to find yourself in a successful relationship with someone who loves you back, well then that's just an added bonus.

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